out of the frying pan and into the fire?

I have been re reading some of my posts and have realized how much my thinking has changed since I first posted about leaving the church.  The following is the way I would answer the questions I asked myself on March 4, 2011.  The answers in Red are my new responses.  

• Would God abandon me if he felt I abandoned him? NO.  Biblical example: The prodigal Son. I don't believe in "God".  
• Was God really a man once? I do not believe that he was. N/A
• Would I really be kept out of the highest kingdom If I did not receive my endowments, or if I rejected those endowments? NO.  I don't believe that we should have set convenants with God, just as I don't believe that we should only use repeated prayers, instead of thinking and covenanting for ourselves. For all I know we are all reincarnated, or stored on some hard drive like in the hit TV show "Battle Star Gallactica".  
• "By grace ye are saved".  Mormons add on to this... 2 ne 2:25   "...for we know that it is by ^bgrace that we are saved, after all we can ^cdo." Really?  While I believe it is important to be a good person, and yes to do good works.  What is a good work?  Is it taking out my endowments, get married in the temple, get baptized...etc.  or is it being a good person and exeplifying Jesus. Religion does not = good, and good does not = religion.
• Even if I lived as perfect a life possible and fulfilled all the requirements, my works would not be enough to get me in.  The atonement would be the only thing. Am I challenging the atonement by putting more time into works, then I am into faith in his grace and mercy? Yes!  It is a smack to atonement to even think that any of those works could compare to the fact that Christ payed for you, he purchased you with his blood.  He gave this gift to all people. I no longer believe Christ was real as much as I don't believe in Zeus, or Hercules.
• Is the temple ceremony literal?  I believe that it is literal. If so would God keep me out of heaven if I couldn't or wouldn't do it when the time came?  What if those who died and their ordinances are done for them after they have gone, and they reject them, would God keep them from him? NO! Like I said "Battle Star Gallactica"
• Can our minds even comprehend God?  If not, then how can any of us profess to understand ways in which we will be judged later? I don't believe that we can comprehend his thinking/judging processes.  I do not believe that he requires us to follow such narrow minded principles. If there is a supreme being.
• Why are there similarities between the Masonic Initiations and temple endowment? That is a tough one, but I simply do not believe the temple endowmet was inspired by God.  I believe that Joseph, being a free mason, "borrowed" some things. And that he was a crack pot con artist that knew how to scam people.
• If God is the same yesturday today and forever, than why has the Mormon church changed in dramatic ways over the years? Because it is not inspired of God.  Because there is not one true church, and there is not a living prophet. Even pretending to know what a supreme being would want of us is ridiculous, just as much as it is insane to say you are doing what an alien would want you to do.  
• Why is there no archeological and historic proof of the israelites being in the America's?  I can only conclude that there were no israelites in the America's Hence the Book of Mormon is fictional.
• Can there be "one true church," with such imperfection on this earth? I don't believe so. NO! And it is insane to waste you time "worshipping" something.  Rather it makes more sense to enjoy what you have and make the most of it.  
• Does God care which church we are in so long as we are good people? I don't think he has a preference as to what set of rules we follow so long as we try to exemplify Christ.  All I think is important is to find happiness.  
• Does God have a favorite people? I think that having a favorite is an imperfect trait and that is impossible for God. Who is God?
• Should there be an answer to almost every spiritual question? I don't think so.  I think that it is hurtful and unnecessary to have an answer to almost everything.  I am focused on finding happiness in this life, not wasting time here in preparation for what ever the hell is coming next.  

Personal boundaries and Mormonism

One major complaint I have with the way I was raised and the mormon culture I grew up with was the apparent lack of boundaries.  In what society is it normal to discuss in normal conversation a person's underwear?  I was reading on another blog recently which perfectly illustrated this fact... here is the link

http://mormondetox.blogspot.com/2008/08/rfm-discussion.html

Individuality is suppressed and this makes people feel comfortable prying into other people's private matters.  Being an individual is something I am loving right now.  I feel great trying to figure out what I actually want and like in life, not based on other' wants and desire's for me.  Young Women in the cult are taught that they each have their own divine nature.  In this instance it seems that they actually are encouraging individuality, except for that everyone has it, and you are no different from everyone else!  It is also another tool for guilting people into following the norm.
What are some way you felt that your boundaries were crossed as a Mormon?

finding happiness without being Mormon

It makes me crazy sometimes thinking that MILLIONS of people are following a crackpot story invented by some con artist in the 1800's!  This guy figured out that a lot of people had an interest in treasure in his area and realized he could make a few buck's off of them.  He was a power/money hungry man that realized how gullible people are.  Did he ever know or realize that centuries later he would have affected MILLIONS?  I just want to jump on the rooftop and scream out to all my loved ones out there, "You don't have to live like that!"  

Happiness comes so much easier when you don't have to fit into a cookie cutter.  Guilt and shame and heartache float away with out it.  Why haven't I done this sooner?  The fear that leaving would damn me is gone.  I am amazed at how much happier I am, more than I ever was as a "member".  

You know how when you are a member they tell you that you should be so delighted to have the knowledge that you do, that you should want to shout it from the rooftops?  Well I never felt that way, and would often feel guilty for it.  Until now!!! I want to shout from the rooftops!  I want to pass out books!  I want to write articles, I want to share with my neighbors.  It is amazing the difference.  When True Blue Mormon loved ones and friends ask me why I left, I often don't even go into the reasons because it always ends in an argument and has on occasion ended friendships.  It is really tempting to try and "convert" them to my way of thinking.  My new thought on that subject is, let them find happiness their own way!

This is what freedom of religion is all about.  Everyone should be allowed to find happiness in their own way.  Mormons don't really support this idea within the church.  "Inactive's, or less actives, or ex-mormon" family members are ostracized if not by family, by everyone else.  

Mormon Myth's Busted

Being an exmormon, I have come to realize that it is okay to feel sexy and enjoy my own sexuality.  This is a healthy part of learning who I am.  When I was a part of the Mormon cult, these feelings were repressed, and I felt evil even wanting to explore them.  Now I feel so liberated in mind and body.  In everything I did, I felt guilt shame and manipulation.  Without realizing or thinking about it I tried to live my life following a specific cookie cutter shape.  I never quite fit.  I didn't make me happy.  I exacerbated my feelings of anxiety to the point that I would get migraines and stomach aches.  Upon leaving the cult, I realized how much lighter I felt.  There was a great big world out there that previously I had thought was mostly full of wicked and adulterous people.  My perception is quite changed. Here are a few myths that I have now busted.

•   I have been surprised at how innately good people are naturally.  They do not need a "God" or "prophet" to tell them what to read and what not to read, where to buy their underwear, or how to dress. They are happy!  They are not wallowing in their wicked ways.  They seek for good things naturally, think for themselves, make smart decisions. 
•  They don't get into car accident's for the mere fact that they aren't wearing magic underwear!
• Not every man that you happen to be alone with will rape you.
• A bishop is not a marriage counselor!
• The Preisthood is a mere version of self fulfilled prophecy, or failed disappointment!
• Getting married at 19 as a Mormon merely means that you couldn't hold off having sex!
• "Procreating and replenishing the Earth" is not required before graduation from college, or within the first 5 years of marriage let alone at all.
• Wearing your bathing suit to the pool as opposed to changing when you get there will not cause an early death.
• Being an RM simply means that there was nothing better to do during that time or they fell to peer pressure.

There are probably a lot more, but this satisfied my desire to rant a little bit.  Anyone else have a myth to bust?

Couponing: My new found hobby

When life get's you down, find a new hobby!  I have not been watching the new cable show on couponing, (I think you all know which one I mean, but I have many friends who have recently gotten into couponing themselves and they have shared their tips and talents with me.  One of the first things I would like to share with all of you is a blog that I have been following for couponing: Jill Cataldo!  She is a great lady that shares her insight on how to get the best deals weekly.  The other tidbit I would like to share with you is an opportunity fo savings with Mom's for Tot's.   

I am hoping to bring better and better deals to this site.  I found this add on http://www.vocalpoint.com/index.html

check this site out as well, it look's pretty promising, although I just joined.